So Much International Flava

In 4th grade I went to The Princeton Ski Shop to buy a pair of snowpants. I got some black snowpants and I was official. I was invited by a friend to go to some weak sauce slope in northern CT to go skiing for the first time. I was excited, but some really horrible road conditions ended up derailing my first ski trip. I was lucky, and this is why. On the trip up there I felt a sharp poke in my pants right around my thigh. No, not that. After we turned around and I was dropped back off at my house I took off the pants and told my mom there was something that didn't feel quite right. Upon further examination we established that there was something stuck in the lining my snowpants and after cutting the lining open we found a rusty, 6" double scalpel that someone had left in the lining of my snowpants. Scary stuff. I checked the label and read "Made in Bangladesh", and ever since then I've had a mistrust of anything from Bangladesh. And while I can recognize that it is somewhat foolish to feel this way about a country I know nothing about, I'm just going with what I know. I forgave Bangladesh on Saturday.

I was shooting baskets alone on Saturday, when some kid started to mosey on over to where I was shooting. He wore a backward Michigan hat. He had on a Polo shirt, but the knockoff kind where the horse isn't on the left breast but instead somewhere about two inches north of your armpit almost as if the horse is running for a ball that's sewn somewhere on your back. And of course he was wearing these...


I learned today in my diversity breakout section that you don't judge a book by its cover, but this kid screamed International-likely-from -somewhere-near-India-freshman-undergrad. So he asks if he can take five shots. Of course I give him five shots. I'm supposed to be learning how to be a global leader at B-school so of course I'm eager to do my part to foster positive relations between the US and Asia. He takes the shots, misses them all, and then asks me if I play on the team, to which I say "no" and he's complimenting me on my shooting, and this and that. I ask him where he's from and he pauses, gets a little embarrassed and says "Bangladesh". It's almost as if he knew what had transpired that snowy day 17 years ago. Of course that would make him about 1 year old, but still, I felt his guilt. Shanif The Lonely International Knockoff Polo Wearing Freshman ended up being good peoples and I wished him luck on his freshman year, advised him on proper basketball attire, and sent him on his way, but not without an awkward high five first.

I said I'd get to the high fives at some point, so here I am. Borat clearly has taken "high five" to a new level.

Can high fiving get any more high profile that it is today? I doubt it. International students come to campus before the US students and I have no idea what they are taught during International Student Week, but I'm guessing that these few items might be on the short-list...

1. Learn to compliment your classmates

"I love your shirt", "you have good basketball fundamentals", "your hair smells pretty". These are all things I've heard over the last few weeks. What do you even say to these things..."Well shit, your hair smells pretty damn good yourself Sandeep".

2. Understanding rhetorical questions

Do they have rhetorical questions in China? And was what I just wrote a rhetorical question? I don't know. But I do know that you can be in a lecture with 70 other students and have the professor ask "Do you all want to leave here ready to be global leaders?", and you will certainly hear at least one foreign student say, "Yes I believe so". Psssst, when the prof asks a question to 70 kids you're not supposed to answer out loud. But it's okay, you'll learn.

3. Social networking 24/7

You might see this on facebook. "Nice 2 meet u 2nite ;) I very much look fwd 2 going 2 parties w u very soon.!!!! My cell # is 221-925630-209-329345-18162 ext 23!!;) C U in class. L8r"

But sadly, during the pre-orientation week international students are not learning how to high five. High fiving is an American-born tradition and it isn't something that foreign students have had years to perfect in Little League, or in elementary school, or anywhere for that matter. So unfortunately, they are learning on the fly. Shanif gave me a "half dead fish middle five" when we left the courts. Shanif, amigo, you think your going to roll up to the Pike house and give 'em a half dead fish middle five and expect to get into their parties? Where are you going to learn to hit on ugly freshman girls if not in some random fraternity basement? There are things at stake here, Shanif, big things.

A few days ago I got what I like to call the Discus Throw High Five. Picture this, but a dude, a Chinese dude:
It's like, hey bro, I love the enthusiasm but my medical insurance doesn't kick in until September 1st, so maybe you can just calm the fuck down for a minute so I don't break my hand.

But like anything else, practice makes perfect and by the end of the two years I hope they'll be able to do a three part handshake as well as they'll be able to help me with my finance case studies.

But seriously, the international students I've met have been incredibly impressive folks. All are super smart and super motivated, and best of all they aren't shy about being heard. You have to really give them credit where credit is due, because they have to articulate complex ideas in a language that many of them haven't even fully mastered yet. Put yourself in their shoes for a minute and you'll realize how hard it must be. Not only are they at B-school, but for many of them this is their first time in the United States and it must be overwhelming. I can't wait to see them at the Michigan Ohio St game. In fact I might want to film that. High Five!

So in the end, Bangladesh, you're no longer dead to me, and high fiving, you are truly alive, well, and at the top of your game. International students, not that you read my blog, but for real, you all are highly impressive.

And yes, I figured out how to insert pictures, so hopefully you all enjoyed.