All it took was hearing "hey, fuck you buddy" and I felt right back at home in New York. It's been about a week since I returned from Bangkok and I'm finally sleeping past 5am. The flight back was pretty uneventful, although I still wonder why I was made to fly "over the world" as I like to say, and not over the Pacific Ocean. I guess when you use miles you just do what they say. On my flight from Frankfurt to NYC I was sitting on the aisle in the middle section of 3-4-3 setup. As soon as the seatbelt sign went off I went horizontal and occupied all four seats for some much needed shut-eye. I had taken a Ambien for this leg and I don't even like taking Advil and wasn't exactly thrilled about taking the Ambien, but after sleeping about 4 total hours from Bangkok to Singapore and Singapore to Frankfurt I needed the assistance of modern day medicine. So at some point from Frankfurt to NYC I was woken up and fed and when I woke up I didn't even know what planet I was on, but all I knew is that someone had put pad thai in front of my face and it was my destiny to finish and then go back to sleep immediately. So yeah, a week later I'm more or less back to normal, and feeling like myself.
So what of these next 5 weeks? Weddings, beach, hanging out, and trying my damnedest not to wear socks. I remember working and heading outside to pick up lunch or head to the bank and seeing young adults walking around mid-day, in shorts and t-shirts, and I remember saying to myself, who the hell are these people not working, and now I guess I'm one of these people. I love New York, but living here for an extended period of time sans paycheck has to be nearly impossible. I paid $8 for a salad today. Granted it was a salad with unlimited toppings, and it was delicious, but for $8 I could buy a small village in Laos, and have enough left over for a watermelon shake. But despite the whole money thing, just to walk the streets and not hear the words "bloody" or "mate" or "massive" or "that was a wicked googly" was absolutely refreshing.
This was a quick one. Not going to lie, when you go from the craziness of SE Asia to refreshing ESPN and gmail several hundred times a day it's a bit of a weird transition, but I'll try to get in a little trouble this weekend for no other reason than to give you a 4 minute respite from your shitty work day when you read this blog.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Harry Potter and the Full Moon Party
Before I address the above let me just set a stage. I've been in Bangkok for 4 days now, and tomorrow I head home. Everyone has said something to the affect of 'don't stay in Bangkok for more than 2 days'. I understand where this is coming from. It's noisy, and hot, and busy, but I've be so desensitized by all my travels that I must say that Bangkok has been kind of enjoyable. Granted, I've avoided Khao San Road every day except one. Am I ready to come home? Yes. Am I ready to give you a totally unorganized free-flowing blog about what's on my mind? Most certainly.
KOH PHA NGAN
When we set out on this trip three things were planned: Arrival, departure, and the Full Moon Party in Koh Pha Ngan. The rest we'd just wing. For those who don't know I'm just going to link to wikipedia here. Wikipedia doesn't even come CLOSE to doing it justice though. We got to the island a few days before the party and managed to snag one of the last bungalows on the beach. Perfect setup. Literally beachfront, next to the pool, patio overlooking Haad Rin beach. Perfect. As the week progressed the evenings on the beach got crazier and crazier, until the day we woke up on the 9th, the night of the party, to find that the biggest, baddest, loudest, craziest setup was not only literally directly in front of our bungalow, but actually tethered to our bungalow. I don't know how many speakers were set up, maybe 30, maybe 40, oh and then there was the stage, and that 50 foot tall multi-tiered fire setup too. When they tested the music at 6pm our walls shook and our brains rattled. We were counting on taking a cat nap prior to the festivities because we'd been up since about 5am the night before. Little did we know the "test" was actually the commencement of our hotel's contribution to the party. And aside from each hotel having a setup, there are the people, painted in fluorescent paint, on you-name-the-drug, drinking buckets, carrying on and dancing like heathens to hip hop, to house, to trance, to MJ. And because we'd basically done it all the night before, sans drugs of course, the real thing was kind of like, eh, okay. We passed out at about 4am thankfully because that music wouldn't stop until 8am. I need to upload some pics at some point. But let me get to Harry Potter. So the new Harry Potter move came out and these folks are in high school at this point I believe. Well, I feel like they are due for their gap year. Now I don't know about what wikipedia says about these kids working while traveling because of the kids we met, the vast vast majority were British, and it was clear their parents had cashflow. In fact, one British girl we met was lamenting the toll the RBS/ABN Amro deal had on her family because her dad sat on the board at RBS. I mean, what? Anyway, Harry, Ron and Hermione are due for gap year, and I'm looking forward to the Potter movie where Ron comes down from Mushroom Mountain on the south end of the beach and passes out in the "rest area" which is basically a demarcated area where you drag your lifeless drunk friends so they can sober up without being stepped on and/or peed on. And Hermione will be like this one girl who we saw every night, who with every passing night seemed to have aged several years. Buckets of Smirnoff and Marlboro Reds can be cruel mistresses. And what of our hero Mr. Harry Potter. Well somehow I just see him waking up the day after with a huge pain on his right shoulder only to see that having blacked out he got a huge Hogwarts school crest tattoo. Strangely enough, shenanigans aside, Koh Phangan might've had the nicest beaches we'd seen, and bizarrely so many stores and restaurants catered to Israelis. Not quite sure what the story is there. Okay, there's a big ass Thai dude telling me he is shutting down shop. He is scary so I am going to find another spot. Part II coming soon...
Ok, I'm back and just a block down the road at an infinitely cleaner, cooler, and more pleasant locale. So as I was saying about Koh Pha Ngan. Crazy party scene, gorgeous beaches, and lots of Israelis. Sounds great, but just make sure your bungalow isn't tethered to the 7th layer of hell.
COMFORT IS JUST A BLOCK AWAY, EITHER ON THE X or Y AXIS
How do you escape the craziness of SE Asia? Just walk a block or two away from the main drag. Just get off the street for a minute. Our one constant "ahhhh" in Bangkok has been a visit to our tailor. And I'm going to write Tanika AND Tailor AND Bangkok just like this because the internet is suprisingly inefficient at providing guidance for finding tailors in Bangkok. Anyway, there's something about a shirt that was born just for you to wear that is kind of special. Big thank yous to the folks at Tanika who despite us looking like homeless people treated us like patrons of Savile Row. If you are paying for a package tailoring deal anywhere in Bangkok you are getting ripped off. If an Indian gentlemen stands in front of his store and says "hey Boss, come inside" and tries to shake your hand then you are going to get ripped off. And if a Thai gentleman offers you tailoring and opium in the same breath, well I think you get the idea. So that was our X-axis break. Our Y-axis break came in the form of a trip to the top of the Banyan Tree Hotel for drinks on the rooftop. There was a breeze, the views were beautiful and you could just barely barely barely hear the faint sounds of honking horns and groups of Thai women yelling, "hello massaaaaaage" in unison. Yeah, sure you pay a bit of a premium, and you may have to put on a pair of pants and loafers the hotel lends you because you look like a scrappy ruffian, but it is surely worth it to escape the grind and grime of street level anywhere.
MARKETS AND CHINATOWN
I've been to every type of market imaginable. I've been to markets where they sell pets, pillows, peanuts, pearls, and pepper. I've seen it all. If it can be sold I've seen it sold at a market. I'm never going to a market again. In fact, it's going to be Fresh Direct-ing it for the rest of my life. And Chinatown, well, I've been to China, so that's a pretty big Chinatown as far as I'm concerned. And I've seen the Chinatown in San Fran NY, and Ho Chi Minh, which were all interesting, and then I traipsed through Chinatown here in Bangkok yesterday. One thing remains universal of the Chinatowns I've been to. You can be dropped off in a random city anywhere in the world. You can look around and be like, "whoa, this place is kind of weird". And then you can go to the Chinatown in that city, and be like, "Ok, sweet Jesus, please Lord, someone tell me what is happening right now because I have no clue where I am and I don't know what that is hanging from that pole. Is that a duck or a sack of fireworks or pork rinds". Chinatown can turn your world inside out, but that's what makes the Chinatowns in every city such interesting places to walk through. Sure, when you get home you want to chop off your feet at the ankles because you have no idea what you've stepped through, (was that okra or intestines?), but you're a better person for delving deep into the dark corners of Chinatown. I knew that typhoid shot would come in handy.
WITH ME YOU GET THE FOOD REPORT
I will never get sick of Thai food. Ever. On my way over here I needed to eat dinner, so as I walked to find internet I saw a dish that some guy on the street was eating that caught my eye. This was a street meat vendor mind you and I really don't know whether it was chicken or pork or beef. I do know that it was as if Buddha himself came down and dropped yummy goodness onto the plate in front of me. Where was this place I ate this meal you ask. I have no idea. It was down a dark alley, and while I don't speak or read thai, the sign above the couple of tables and the bubbling cauldron looked like this: two backward six-looking things, a hebrew chai, an upside-down ear, and a tickle-me-Elmo. So if you can find this sign when you come to Bangkok you'll be in for a treat. I've eaten at mall food courts the past two days and both times the food, while simple, has been exquisitely simple and tasty. And food courts here are legit by the way. I will also deeply miss any and all foods overflowing with coconut. And lastly on the food front, I've finally made peace with star anise. In 2004 I went to China and there was one meal I ate with my grandmother, aunt, and cousin, and a Chinese woman who somehow knew my cousin. The meal was horrible and still gives me nightmares, and every piece of food seemed to be bathed and lathered in star anise. I never got over it, until today. Whatever they did to my chicken today with star anise, well, thank you for exorcising those star anise demons, because that was finger licking good.
FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE I SIGN OFF FOR THE NIGHT
I aimed to do this trip part Anthony Bourdain, part Bear Grylls, and part I'm-about-to-work-for-the-rest-of-my-life-so-I-better-make-this-one-count. I think for the most part I did it the way I wanted to. In my mind I think I envisioned roughing it more, but once you splurge just a little it's tough to go back the other way. A lot of this trip has been learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, and yeah, right now I stank, but I am heading back to a big bed and a hot shower. You make compromises and they are for comfort and convenience and they are always worth it. This has been a hell of a trip. Big thanks to Kris and Jamil for being excellent travel buddies. I think at different points along the line we all were a few minutes from asking ourselves "okay so what exactly does my insurance policy actually cover again", but by and large we escaped injury and defeat. Actually we won, and my reward is a twin bed across world with my name all over it. Singapore Airlines, please take me home, I'm tired, and I want eggplant parm.
KOH PHA NGAN
When we set out on this trip three things were planned: Arrival, departure, and the Full Moon Party in Koh Pha Ngan. The rest we'd just wing. For those who don't know I'm just going to link to wikipedia here. Wikipedia doesn't even come CLOSE to doing it justice though. We got to the island a few days before the party and managed to snag one of the last bungalows on the beach. Perfect setup. Literally beachfront, next to the pool, patio overlooking Haad Rin beach. Perfect. As the week progressed the evenings on the beach got crazier and crazier, until the day we woke up on the 9th, the night of the party, to find that the biggest, baddest, loudest, craziest setup was not only literally directly in front of our bungalow, but actually tethered to our bungalow. I don't know how many speakers were set up, maybe 30, maybe 40, oh and then there was the stage, and that 50 foot tall multi-tiered fire setup too. When they tested the music at 6pm our walls shook and our brains rattled. We were counting on taking a cat nap prior to the festivities because we'd been up since about 5am the night before. Little did we know the "test" was actually the commencement of our hotel's contribution to the party. And aside from each hotel having a setup, there are the people, painted in fluorescent paint, on you-name-the-drug, drinking buckets, carrying on and dancing like heathens to hip hop, to house, to trance, to MJ. And because we'd basically done it all the night before, sans drugs of course, the real thing was kind of like, eh, okay. We passed out at about 4am thankfully because that music wouldn't stop until 8am. I need to upload some pics at some point. But let me get to Harry Potter. So the new Harry Potter move came out and these folks are in high school at this point I believe. Well, I feel like they are due for their gap year. Now I don't know about what wikipedia says about these kids working while traveling because of the kids we met, the vast vast majority were British, and it was clear their parents had cashflow. In fact, one British girl we met was lamenting the toll the RBS/ABN Amro deal had on her family because her dad sat on the board at RBS. I mean, what? Anyway, Harry, Ron and Hermione are due for gap year, and I'm looking forward to the Potter movie where Ron comes down from Mushroom Mountain on the south end of the beach and passes out in the "rest area" which is basically a demarcated area where you drag your lifeless drunk friends so they can sober up without being stepped on and/or peed on. And Hermione will be like this one girl who we saw every night, who with every passing night seemed to have aged several years. Buckets of Smirnoff and Marlboro Reds can be cruel mistresses. And what of our hero Mr. Harry Potter. Well somehow I just see him waking up the day after with a huge pain on his right shoulder only to see that having blacked out he got a huge Hogwarts school crest tattoo. Strangely enough, shenanigans aside, Koh Phangan might've had the nicest beaches we'd seen, and bizarrely so many stores and restaurants catered to Israelis. Not quite sure what the story is there. Okay, there's a big ass Thai dude telling me he is shutting down shop. He is scary so I am going to find another spot. Part II coming soon...
Ok, I'm back and just a block down the road at an infinitely cleaner, cooler, and more pleasant locale. So as I was saying about Koh Pha Ngan. Crazy party scene, gorgeous beaches, and lots of Israelis. Sounds great, but just make sure your bungalow isn't tethered to the 7th layer of hell.
COMFORT IS JUST A BLOCK AWAY, EITHER ON THE X or Y AXIS
How do you escape the craziness of SE Asia? Just walk a block or two away from the main drag. Just get off the street for a minute. Our one constant "ahhhh" in Bangkok has been a visit to our tailor. And I'm going to write Tanika AND Tailor AND Bangkok just like this because the internet is suprisingly inefficient at providing guidance for finding tailors in Bangkok. Anyway, there's something about a shirt that was born just for you to wear that is kind of special. Big thank yous to the folks at Tanika who despite us looking like homeless people treated us like patrons of Savile Row. If you are paying for a package tailoring deal anywhere in Bangkok you are getting ripped off. If an Indian gentlemen stands in front of his store and says "hey Boss, come inside" and tries to shake your hand then you are going to get ripped off. And if a Thai gentleman offers you tailoring and opium in the same breath, well I think you get the idea. So that was our X-axis break. Our Y-axis break came in the form of a trip to the top of the Banyan Tree Hotel for drinks on the rooftop. There was a breeze, the views were beautiful and you could just barely barely barely hear the faint sounds of honking horns and groups of Thai women yelling, "hello massaaaaaage" in unison. Yeah, sure you pay a bit of a premium, and you may have to put on a pair of pants and loafers the hotel lends you because you look like a scrappy ruffian, but it is surely worth it to escape the grind and grime of street level anywhere.
MARKETS AND CHINATOWN
I've been to every type of market imaginable. I've been to markets where they sell pets, pillows, peanuts, pearls, and pepper. I've seen it all. If it can be sold I've seen it sold at a market. I'm never going to a market again. In fact, it's going to be Fresh Direct-ing it for the rest of my life. And Chinatown, well, I've been to China, so that's a pretty big Chinatown as far as I'm concerned. And I've seen the Chinatown in San Fran NY, and Ho Chi Minh, which were all interesting, and then I traipsed through Chinatown here in Bangkok yesterday. One thing remains universal of the Chinatowns I've been to. You can be dropped off in a random city anywhere in the world. You can look around and be like, "whoa, this place is kind of weird". And then you can go to the Chinatown in that city, and be like, "Ok, sweet Jesus, please Lord, someone tell me what is happening right now because I have no clue where I am and I don't know what that is hanging from that pole. Is that a duck or a sack of fireworks or pork rinds". Chinatown can turn your world inside out, but that's what makes the Chinatowns in every city such interesting places to walk through. Sure, when you get home you want to chop off your feet at the ankles because you have no idea what you've stepped through, (was that okra or intestines?), but you're a better person for delving deep into the dark corners of Chinatown. I knew that typhoid shot would come in handy.
WITH ME YOU GET THE FOOD REPORT
I will never get sick of Thai food. Ever. On my way over here I needed to eat dinner, so as I walked to find internet I saw a dish that some guy on the street was eating that caught my eye. This was a street meat vendor mind you and I really don't know whether it was chicken or pork or beef. I do know that it was as if Buddha himself came down and dropped yummy goodness onto the plate in front of me. Where was this place I ate this meal you ask. I have no idea. It was down a dark alley, and while I don't speak or read thai, the sign above the couple of tables and the bubbling cauldron looked like this: two backward six-looking things, a hebrew chai, an upside-down ear, and a tickle-me-Elmo. So if you can find this sign when you come to Bangkok you'll be in for a treat. I've eaten at mall food courts the past two days and both times the food, while simple, has been exquisitely simple and tasty. And food courts here are legit by the way. I will also deeply miss any and all foods overflowing with coconut. And lastly on the food front, I've finally made peace with star anise. In 2004 I went to China and there was one meal I ate with my grandmother, aunt, and cousin, and a Chinese woman who somehow knew my cousin. The meal was horrible and still gives me nightmares, and every piece of food seemed to be bathed and lathered in star anise. I never got over it, until today. Whatever they did to my chicken today with star anise, well, thank you for exorcising those star anise demons, because that was finger licking good.
FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE I SIGN OFF FOR THE NIGHT
I aimed to do this trip part Anthony Bourdain, part Bear Grylls, and part I'm-about-to-work-for-the-rest-of-my-life-so-I-better-make-this-one-count. I think for the most part I did it the way I wanted to. In my mind I think I envisioned roughing it more, but once you splurge just a little it's tough to go back the other way. A lot of this trip has been learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, and yeah, right now I stank, but I am heading back to a big bed and a hot shower. You make compromises and they are for comfort and convenience and they are always worth it. This has been a hell of a trip. Big thanks to Kris and Jamil for being excellent travel buddies. I think at different points along the line we all were a few minutes from asking ourselves "okay so what exactly does my insurance policy actually cover again", but by and large we escaped injury and defeat. Actually we won, and my reward is a twin bed across world with my name all over it. Singapore Airlines, please take me home, I'm tired, and I want eggplant parm.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
July 4th in Thailand...
Today is the Fourth of July. All I want is a burger, a real burger that is, and some cole slaw, and a piece of pie from Round Swamp. Instead I just had a beef noodle soup, which was delicious, but doesn't exactly scream, I love me some America. I am wearing my Kentucky Wildcats jersey though, not that anyone aside from my buddies knows what the hell that is anyway. See, the thing is that there are no Americans traveling in this part of the world. Like, really, there are none. Last night we were out at a club (this is in Koh Samui now) and we bumped into two Americans and within moments there were hugs and high fives. We were just so happy to meet others who understood what it's like to be American and traveling over in these parts. It feels much like I imagine it did in the Northeast in early 1776...choc full of Brits wearing beer-logoed wifebeaters, yelling obscenities, chain smoking cigarettes, and eating a ton of fish and chips. I don't get it. Did a memo go out mobilizing, or should I say, mobilising, the British contingent to travel SE Asia? It is unfortunate that Michael Jackson died last week, but thankfully his songs have been playing in heavy rotation and have given Americans such as myself a respite from all the rubbish music the British kids like to shake their stupid mullets to.
We've been in Koh Samui for about 4 days now and tomorrow we head for Koh Pha Ngan. We've had a nice little set up here. Hotel on the beach, infinity pool, the whole nine. Hell, we even played golf the other day at a course right in the middle of the jungle. The views were amazing, and as dusk crept in we wondered why the monkeys sounded so close, and particularly hostile. And after I saw a four foot snake slither across the cart path I just decided not to bother looking for balls hit out of play. As scary as the jungle creatures are, equally as scary is the prevalence of lady-boys. At night, after a few beers is when I feel like they look for their prey, and it's just not that easy to tell the difference anymore, so much so that I'm starting to get skeptical of the Caucasian women as well. I'm wondering how socially acceptable it would be to start feeling for adam's apples.
On another note, renting a motorbike is a phenomenal way to explore a small island. It's also a phenomenal way to die on a Saturday afternoon. Yes I wore a helmet, but soooo many things can go wrong when all traffic laws, signals, signs seem to be mere suggestions. I can understand the allure of a motorcycle. The wind whipping your face, being outside getting tan, just you and the road...luckily I feel like I can get the same thing on a bicycle so I'll be sticking to that.
It's just about 10 days until departure time and my body has started to question what the hell I'm doing to it, and I think it's fair to say that which includes the famous Full Moon Party and Bangkok. So until next time. unless my body actually shuts down. Enjoy the 4th.
We've been in Koh Samui for about 4 days now and tomorrow we head for Koh Pha Ngan. We've had a nice little set up here. Hotel on the beach, infinity pool, the whole nine. Hell, we even played golf the other day at a course right in the middle of the jungle. The views were amazing, and as dusk crept in we wondered why the monkeys sounded so close, and particularly hostile. And after I saw a four foot snake slither across the cart path I just decided not to bother looking for balls hit out of play. As scary as the jungle creatures are, equally as scary is the prevalence of lady-boys. At night, after a few beers is when I feel like they look for their prey, and it's just not that easy to tell the difference anymore, so much so that I'm starting to get skeptical of the Caucasian women as well. I'm wondering how socially acceptable it would be to start feeling for adam's apples.
On another note, renting a motorbike is a phenomenal way to explore a small island. It's also a phenomenal way to die on a Saturday afternoon. Yes I wore a helmet, but soooo many things can go wrong when all traffic laws, signals, signs seem to be mere suggestions. I can understand the allure of a motorcycle. The wind whipping your face, being outside getting tan, just you and the road...luckily I feel like I can get the same thing on a bicycle so I'll be sticking to that.
It's just about 10 days until departure time and my body has started to question what the hell I'm doing to it, and I think it's fair to say that which includes the famous Full Moon Party and Bangkok. So until next time. unless my body actually shuts down. Enjoy the 4th.
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