1. Cut a hole in the Box...

No more boxes, please. I'm not even done unpacking and by the time I'm done unpacking I'll be ready to pack for Michigan.

Really quickly, that pipe explosion in NYC yesterday was a block away from my old office, and along the route I walked to and from the subway every day. Kind of crazy.

Since we had no internet connection in the house until this morning I actually went to the Greenwich Public Library to check my email. The whole going-on-the-internet-at-a-public-library-thing kind of sketches me out a little bit and that's mostly due to that whole Carl Monday fiasco that went down last year in Ohio. If you don't know who Mr. Monday is, just Wikipedia him. Anyway, I just assume that everyone in there is some sort of deviant which I know is wrong. If you just sit back and observe people at their computers you'll see what some folks call "prairie dogging". This is basically when someone is hunched over at their computer and then they'll lift up their head and peek over their cube, look around, then hunch back down and resume what they were doing. If you look at everyone from above they resemble a pack of prairie dogs peeking out of their burrows. I don't care if you're typing a recipe for raspberry pie, if you're prairie dogging every five minutes it looks like you're trying to hide something, and when I say "something" I mean porn. Carl Monday has stolen my innocence.

Today I ventured out to Greenwich Avenue to do some shopping. For a couple of days each summer stores participate in "Sidewalk Sales" which is when stores move inventory to the sidewalk and sell it at a "discounted" price. Very simple concept. These sidewalk sales bring out a lot of people, and at least today these people seemed to be primarily women, approximately 30-45 years old, obnoxious, loud, blue-toothed, and trailed by their two ice-cream stained kids and Laotian/Vietnamese/Burmese nanny. I'm fine with these types of women, but I'm not a fan of the ones who walk around like it's their world and everyone else is just a visitor. Excuse me ma'am, take your red Tory Burch ballet flats, click your heels twice, and get the fuck out of the middle of the road, you're blocking traffic. These women are so oblivious that sometimes you just have to laugh. Like today, some lady parked her Bugaboo stroller at the bottom of the staircase in J. Crew. In the real world you just can't do that, but on planet The-Rules-Don't-Apply-to-Me apparently you can. I don't know about everyone else, but I was waiting for a re-enactment of the famous shoot-out scene from The Untouchables. I'm just hoping I don't end up with a woman like this. I hear that they cast very powerful spells and have sharp claws, so please say a prayer for me.