All it took was hearing "hey, fuck you buddy" and I felt right back at home in New York. It's been about a week since I returned from Bangkok and I'm finally sleeping past 5am. The flight back was pretty uneventful, although I still wonder why I was made to fly "over the world" as I like to say, and not over the Pacific Ocean. I guess when you use miles you just do what they say. On my flight from Frankfurt to NYC I was sitting on the aisle in the middle section of 3-4-3 setup. As soon as the seatbelt sign went off I went horizontal and occupied all four seats for some much needed shut-eye. I had taken a Ambien for this leg and I don't even like taking Advil and wasn't exactly thrilled about taking the Ambien, but after sleeping about 4 total hours from Bangkok to Singapore and Singapore to Frankfurt I needed the assistance of modern day medicine. So at some point from Frankfurt to NYC I was woken up and fed and when I woke up I didn't even know what planet I was on, but all I knew is that someone had put pad thai in front of my face and it was my destiny to finish and then go back to sleep immediately. So yeah, a week later I'm more or less back to normal, and feeling like myself.
So what of these next 5 weeks? Weddings, beach, hanging out, and trying my damnedest not to wear socks. I remember working and heading outside to pick up lunch or head to the bank and seeing young adults walking around mid-day, in shorts and t-shirts, and I remember saying to myself, who the hell are these people not working, and now I guess I'm one of these people. I love New York, but living here for an extended period of time sans paycheck has to be nearly impossible. I paid $8 for a salad today. Granted it was a salad with unlimited toppings, and it was delicious, but for $8 I could buy a small village in Laos, and have enough left over for a watermelon shake. But despite the whole money thing, just to walk the streets and not hear the words "bloody" or "mate" or "massive" or "that was a wicked googly" was absolutely refreshing.
This was a quick one. Not going to lie, when you go from the craziness of SE Asia to refreshing ESPN and gmail several hundred times a day it's a bit of a weird transition, but I'll try to get in a little trouble this weekend for no other reason than to give you a 4 minute respite from your shitty work day when you read this blog.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Harry Potter and the Full Moon Party
Before I address the above let me just set a stage. I've been in Bangkok for 4 days now, and tomorrow I head home. Everyone has said something to the affect of 'don't stay in Bangkok for more than 2 days'. I understand where this is coming from. It's noisy, and hot, and busy, but I've be so desensitized by all my travels that I must say that Bangkok has been kind of enjoyable. Granted, I've avoided Khao San Road every day except one. Am I ready to come home? Yes. Am I ready to give you a totally unorganized free-flowing blog about what's on my mind? Most certainly.
KOH PHA NGAN
When we set out on this trip three things were planned: Arrival, departure, and the Full Moon Party in Koh Pha Ngan. The rest we'd just wing. For those who don't know I'm just going to link to wikipedia here. Wikipedia doesn't even come CLOSE to doing it justice though. We got to the island a few days before the party and managed to snag one of the last bungalows on the beach. Perfect setup. Literally beachfront, next to the pool, patio overlooking Haad Rin beach. Perfect. As the week progressed the evenings on the beach got crazier and crazier, until the day we woke up on the 9th, the night of the party, to find that the biggest, baddest, loudest, craziest setup was not only literally directly in front of our bungalow, but actually tethered to our bungalow. I don't know how many speakers were set up, maybe 30, maybe 40, oh and then there was the stage, and that 50 foot tall multi-tiered fire setup too. When they tested the music at 6pm our walls shook and our brains rattled. We were counting on taking a cat nap prior to the festivities because we'd been up since about 5am the night before. Little did we know the "test" was actually the commencement of our hotel's contribution to the party. And aside from each hotel having a setup, there are the people, painted in fluorescent paint, on you-name-the-drug, drinking buckets, carrying on and dancing like heathens to hip hop, to house, to trance, to MJ. And because we'd basically done it all the night before, sans drugs of course, the real thing was kind of like, eh, okay. We passed out at about 4am thankfully because that music wouldn't stop until 8am. I need to upload some pics at some point. But let me get to Harry Potter. So the new Harry Potter move came out and these folks are in high school at this point I believe. Well, I feel like they are due for their gap year. Now I don't know about what wikipedia says about these kids working while traveling because of the kids we met, the vast vast majority were British, and it was clear their parents had cashflow. In fact, one British girl we met was lamenting the toll the RBS/ABN Amro deal had on her family because her dad sat on the board at RBS. I mean, what? Anyway, Harry, Ron and Hermione are due for gap year, and I'm looking forward to the Potter movie where Ron comes down from Mushroom Mountain on the south end of the beach and passes out in the "rest area" which is basically a demarcated area where you drag your lifeless drunk friends so they can sober up without being stepped on and/or peed on. And Hermione will be like this one girl who we saw every night, who with every passing night seemed to have aged several years. Buckets of Smirnoff and Marlboro Reds can be cruel mistresses. And what of our hero Mr. Harry Potter. Well somehow I just see him waking up the day after with a huge pain on his right shoulder only to see that having blacked out he got a huge Hogwarts school crest tattoo. Strangely enough, shenanigans aside, Koh Phangan might've had the nicest beaches we'd seen, and bizarrely so many stores and restaurants catered to Israelis. Not quite sure what the story is there. Okay, there's a big ass Thai dude telling me he is shutting down shop. He is scary so I am going to find another spot. Part II coming soon...
Ok, I'm back and just a block down the road at an infinitely cleaner, cooler, and more pleasant locale. So as I was saying about Koh Pha Ngan. Crazy party scene, gorgeous beaches, and lots of Israelis. Sounds great, but just make sure your bungalow isn't tethered to the 7th layer of hell.
COMFORT IS JUST A BLOCK AWAY, EITHER ON THE X or Y AXIS
How do you escape the craziness of SE Asia? Just walk a block or two away from the main drag. Just get off the street for a minute. Our one constant "ahhhh" in Bangkok has been a visit to our tailor. And I'm going to write Tanika AND Tailor AND Bangkok just like this because the internet is suprisingly inefficient at providing guidance for finding tailors in Bangkok. Anyway, there's something about a shirt that was born just for you to wear that is kind of special. Big thank yous to the folks at Tanika who despite us looking like homeless people treated us like patrons of Savile Row. If you are paying for a package tailoring deal anywhere in Bangkok you are getting ripped off. If an Indian gentlemen stands in front of his store and says "hey Boss, come inside" and tries to shake your hand then you are going to get ripped off. And if a Thai gentleman offers you tailoring and opium in the same breath, well I think you get the idea. So that was our X-axis break. Our Y-axis break came in the form of a trip to the top of the Banyan Tree Hotel for drinks on the rooftop. There was a breeze, the views were beautiful and you could just barely barely barely hear the faint sounds of honking horns and groups of Thai women yelling, "hello massaaaaaage" in unison. Yeah, sure you pay a bit of a premium, and you may have to put on a pair of pants and loafers the hotel lends you because you look like a scrappy ruffian, but it is surely worth it to escape the grind and grime of street level anywhere.
MARKETS AND CHINATOWN
I've been to every type of market imaginable. I've been to markets where they sell pets, pillows, peanuts, pearls, and pepper. I've seen it all. If it can be sold I've seen it sold at a market. I'm never going to a market again. In fact, it's going to be Fresh Direct-ing it for the rest of my life. And Chinatown, well, I've been to China, so that's a pretty big Chinatown as far as I'm concerned. And I've seen the Chinatown in San Fran NY, and Ho Chi Minh, which were all interesting, and then I traipsed through Chinatown here in Bangkok yesterday. One thing remains universal of the Chinatowns I've been to. You can be dropped off in a random city anywhere in the world. You can look around and be like, "whoa, this place is kind of weird". And then you can go to the Chinatown in that city, and be like, "Ok, sweet Jesus, please Lord, someone tell me what is happening right now because I have no clue where I am and I don't know what that is hanging from that pole. Is that a duck or a sack of fireworks or pork rinds". Chinatown can turn your world inside out, but that's what makes the Chinatowns in every city such interesting places to walk through. Sure, when you get home you want to chop off your feet at the ankles because you have no idea what you've stepped through, (was that okra or intestines?), but you're a better person for delving deep into the dark corners of Chinatown. I knew that typhoid shot would come in handy.
WITH ME YOU GET THE FOOD REPORT
I will never get sick of Thai food. Ever. On my way over here I needed to eat dinner, so as I walked to find internet I saw a dish that some guy on the street was eating that caught my eye. This was a street meat vendor mind you and I really don't know whether it was chicken or pork or beef. I do know that it was as if Buddha himself came down and dropped yummy goodness onto the plate in front of me. Where was this place I ate this meal you ask. I have no idea. It was down a dark alley, and while I don't speak or read thai, the sign above the couple of tables and the bubbling cauldron looked like this: two backward six-looking things, a hebrew chai, an upside-down ear, and a tickle-me-Elmo. So if you can find this sign when you come to Bangkok you'll be in for a treat. I've eaten at mall food courts the past two days and both times the food, while simple, has been exquisitely simple and tasty. And food courts here are legit by the way. I will also deeply miss any and all foods overflowing with coconut. And lastly on the food front, I've finally made peace with star anise. In 2004 I went to China and there was one meal I ate with my grandmother, aunt, and cousin, and a Chinese woman who somehow knew my cousin. The meal was horrible and still gives me nightmares, and every piece of food seemed to be bathed and lathered in star anise. I never got over it, until today. Whatever they did to my chicken today with star anise, well, thank you for exorcising those star anise demons, because that was finger licking good.
FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE I SIGN OFF FOR THE NIGHT
I aimed to do this trip part Anthony Bourdain, part Bear Grylls, and part I'm-about-to-work-for-the-rest-of-my-life-so-I-better-make-this-one-count. I think for the most part I did it the way I wanted to. In my mind I think I envisioned roughing it more, but once you splurge just a little it's tough to go back the other way. A lot of this trip has been learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, and yeah, right now I stank, but I am heading back to a big bed and a hot shower. You make compromises and they are for comfort and convenience and they are always worth it. This has been a hell of a trip. Big thanks to Kris and Jamil for being excellent travel buddies. I think at different points along the line we all were a few minutes from asking ourselves "okay so what exactly does my insurance policy actually cover again", but by and large we escaped injury and defeat. Actually we won, and my reward is a twin bed across world with my name all over it. Singapore Airlines, please take me home, I'm tired, and I want eggplant parm.
KOH PHA NGAN
When we set out on this trip three things were planned: Arrival, departure, and the Full Moon Party in Koh Pha Ngan. The rest we'd just wing. For those who don't know I'm just going to link to wikipedia here. Wikipedia doesn't even come CLOSE to doing it justice though. We got to the island a few days before the party and managed to snag one of the last bungalows on the beach. Perfect setup. Literally beachfront, next to the pool, patio overlooking Haad Rin beach. Perfect. As the week progressed the evenings on the beach got crazier and crazier, until the day we woke up on the 9th, the night of the party, to find that the biggest, baddest, loudest, craziest setup was not only literally directly in front of our bungalow, but actually tethered to our bungalow. I don't know how many speakers were set up, maybe 30, maybe 40, oh and then there was the stage, and that 50 foot tall multi-tiered fire setup too. When they tested the music at 6pm our walls shook and our brains rattled. We were counting on taking a cat nap prior to the festivities because we'd been up since about 5am the night before. Little did we know the "test" was actually the commencement of our hotel's contribution to the party. And aside from each hotel having a setup, there are the people, painted in fluorescent paint, on you-name-the-drug, drinking buckets, carrying on and dancing like heathens to hip hop, to house, to trance, to MJ. And because we'd basically done it all the night before, sans drugs of course, the real thing was kind of like, eh, okay. We passed out at about 4am thankfully because that music wouldn't stop until 8am. I need to upload some pics at some point. But let me get to Harry Potter. So the new Harry Potter move came out and these folks are in high school at this point I believe. Well, I feel like they are due for their gap year. Now I don't know about what wikipedia says about these kids working while traveling because of the kids we met, the vast vast majority were British, and it was clear their parents had cashflow. In fact, one British girl we met was lamenting the toll the RBS/ABN Amro deal had on her family because her dad sat on the board at RBS. I mean, what? Anyway, Harry, Ron and Hermione are due for gap year, and I'm looking forward to the Potter movie where Ron comes down from Mushroom Mountain on the south end of the beach and passes out in the "rest area" which is basically a demarcated area where you drag your lifeless drunk friends so they can sober up without being stepped on and/or peed on. And Hermione will be like this one girl who we saw every night, who with every passing night seemed to have aged several years. Buckets of Smirnoff and Marlboro Reds can be cruel mistresses. And what of our hero Mr. Harry Potter. Well somehow I just see him waking up the day after with a huge pain on his right shoulder only to see that having blacked out he got a huge Hogwarts school crest tattoo. Strangely enough, shenanigans aside, Koh Phangan might've had the nicest beaches we'd seen, and bizarrely so many stores and restaurants catered to Israelis. Not quite sure what the story is there. Okay, there's a big ass Thai dude telling me he is shutting down shop. He is scary so I am going to find another spot. Part II coming soon...
Ok, I'm back and just a block down the road at an infinitely cleaner, cooler, and more pleasant locale. So as I was saying about Koh Pha Ngan. Crazy party scene, gorgeous beaches, and lots of Israelis. Sounds great, but just make sure your bungalow isn't tethered to the 7th layer of hell.
COMFORT IS JUST A BLOCK AWAY, EITHER ON THE X or Y AXIS
How do you escape the craziness of SE Asia? Just walk a block or two away from the main drag. Just get off the street for a minute. Our one constant "ahhhh" in Bangkok has been a visit to our tailor. And I'm going to write Tanika AND Tailor AND Bangkok just like this because the internet is suprisingly inefficient at providing guidance for finding tailors in Bangkok. Anyway, there's something about a shirt that was born just for you to wear that is kind of special. Big thank yous to the folks at Tanika who despite us looking like homeless people treated us like patrons of Savile Row. If you are paying for a package tailoring deal anywhere in Bangkok you are getting ripped off. If an Indian gentlemen stands in front of his store and says "hey Boss, come inside" and tries to shake your hand then you are going to get ripped off. And if a Thai gentleman offers you tailoring and opium in the same breath, well I think you get the idea. So that was our X-axis break. Our Y-axis break came in the form of a trip to the top of the Banyan Tree Hotel for drinks on the rooftop. There was a breeze, the views were beautiful and you could just barely barely barely hear the faint sounds of honking horns and groups of Thai women yelling, "hello massaaaaaage" in unison. Yeah, sure you pay a bit of a premium, and you may have to put on a pair of pants and loafers the hotel lends you because you look like a scrappy ruffian, but it is surely worth it to escape the grind and grime of street level anywhere.
MARKETS AND CHINATOWN
I've been to every type of market imaginable. I've been to markets where they sell pets, pillows, peanuts, pearls, and pepper. I've seen it all. If it can be sold I've seen it sold at a market. I'm never going to a market again. In fact, it's going to be Fresh Direct-ing it for the rest of my life. And Chinatown, well, I've been to China, so that's a pretty big Chinatown as far as I'm concerned. And I've seen the Chinatown in San Fran NY, and Ho Chi Minh, which were all interesting, and then I traipsed through Chinatown here in Bangkok yesterday. One thing remains universal of the Chinatowns I've been to. You can be dropped off in a random city anywhere in the world. You can look around and be like, "whoa, this place is kind of weird". And then you can go to the Chinatown in that city, and be like, "Ok, sweet Jesus, please Lord, someone tell me what is happening right now because I have no clue where I am and I don't know what that is hanging from that pole. Is that a duck or a sack of fireworks or pork rinds". Chinatown can turn your world inside out, but that's what makes the Chinatowns in every city such interesting places to walk through. Sure, when you get home you want to chop off your feet at the ankles because you have no idea what you've stepped through, (was that okra or intestines?), but you're a better person for delving deep into the dark corners of Chinatown. I knew that typhoid shot would come in handy.
WITH ME YOU GET THE FOOD REPORT
I will never get sick of Thai food. Ever. On my way over here I needed to eat dinner, so as I walked to find internet I saw a dish that some guy on the street was eating that caught my eye. This was a street meat vendor mind you and I really don't know whether it was chicken or pork or beef. I do know that it was as if Buddha himself came down and dropped yummy goodness onto the plate in front of me. Where was this place I ate this meal you ask. I have no idea. It was down a dark alley, and while I don't speak or read thai, the sign above the couple of tables and the bubbling cauldron looked like this: two backward six-looking things, a hebrew chai, an upside-down ear, and a tickle-me-Elmo. So if you can find this sign when you come to Bangkok you'll be in for a treat. I've eaten at mall food courts the past two days and both times the food, while simple, has been exquisitely simple and tasty. And food courts here are legit by the way. I will also deeply miss any and all foods overflowing with coconut. And lastly on the food front, I've finally made peace with star anise. In 2004 I went to China and there was one meal I ate with my grandmother, aunt, and cousin, and a Chinese woman who somehow knew my cousin. The meal was horrible and still gives me nightmares, and every piece of food seemed to be bathed and lathered in star anise. I never got over it, until today. Whatever they did to my chicken today with star anise, well, thank you for exorcising those star anise demons, because that was finger licking good.
FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE I SIGN OFF FOR THE NIGHT
I aimed to do this trip part Anthony Bourdain, part Bear Grylls, and part I'm-about-to-work-for-the-rest-of-my-life-so-I-better-make-this-one-count. I think for the most part I did it the way I wanted to. In my mind I think I envisioned roughing it more, but once you splurge just a little it's tough to go back the other way. A lot of this trip has been learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, and yeah, right now I stank, but I am heading back to a big bed and a hot shower. You make compromises and they are for comfort and convenience and they are always worth it. This has been a hell of a trip. Big thanks to Kris and Jamil for being excellent travel buddies. I think at different points along the line we all were a few minutes from asking ourselves "okay so what exactly does my insurance policy actually cover again", but by and large we escaped injury and defeat. Actually we won, and my reward is a twin bed across world with my name all over it. Singapore Airlines, please take me home, I'm tired, and I want eggplant parm.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
July 4th in Thailand...
Today is the Fourth of July. All I want is a burger, a real burger that is, and some cole slaw, and a piece of pie from Round Swamp. Instead I just had a beef noodle soup, which was delicious, but doesn't exactly scream, I love me some America. I am wearing my Kentucky Wildcats jersey though, not that anyone aside from my buddies knows what the hell that is anyway. See, the thing is that there are no Americans traveling in this part of the world. Like, really, there are none. Last night we were out at a club (this is in Koh Samui now) and we bumped into two Americans and within moments there were hugs and high fives. We were just so happy to meet others who understood what it's like to be American and traveling over in these parts. It feels much like I imagine it did in the Northeast in early 1776...choc full of Brits wearing beer-logoed wifebeaters, yelling obscenities, chain smoking cigarettes, and eating a ton of fish and chips. I don't get it. Did a memo go out mobilizing, or should I say, mobilising, the British contingent to travel SE Asia? It is unfortunate that Michael Jackson died last week, but thankfully his songs have been playing in heavy rotation and have given Americans such as myself a respite from all the rubbish music the British kids like to shake their stupid mullets to.
We've been in Koh Samui for about 4 days now and tomorrow we head for Koh Pha Ngan. We've had a nice little set up here. Hotel on the beach, infinity pool, the whole nine. Hell, we even played golf the other day at a course right in the middle of the jungle. The views were amazing, and as dusk crept in we wondered why the monkeys sounded so close, and particularly hostile. And after I saw a four foot snake slither across the cart path I just decided not to bother looking for balls hit out of play. As scary as the jungle creatures are, equally as scary is the prevalence of lady-boys. At night, after a few beers is when I feel like they look for their prey, and it's just not that easy to tell the difference anymore, so much so that I'm starting to get skeptical of the Caucasian women as well. I'm wondering how socially acceptable it would be to start feeling for adam's apples.
On another note, renting a motorbike is a phenomenal way to explore a small island. It's also a phenomenal way to die on a Saturday afternoon. Yes I wore a helmet, but soooo many things can go wrong when all traffic laws, signals, signs seem to be mere suggestions. I can understand the allure of a motorcycle. The wind whipping your face, being outside getting tan, just you and the road...luckily I feel like I can get the same thing on a bicycle so I'll be sticking to that.
It's just about 10 days until departure time and my body has started to question what the hell I'm doing to it, and I think it's fair to say that which includes the famous Full Moon Party and Bangkok. So until next time. unless my body actually shuts down. Enjoy the 4th.
We've been in Koh Samui for about 4 days now and tomorrow we head for Koh Pha Ngan. We've had a nice little set up here. Hotel on the beach, infinity pool, the whole nine. Hell, we even played golf the other day at a course right in the middle of the jungle. The views were amazing, and as dusk crept in we wondered why the monkeys sounded so close, and particularly hostile. And after I saw a four foot snake slither across the cart path I just decided not to bother looking for balls hit out of play. As scary as the jungle creatures are, equally as scary is the prevalence of lady-boys. At night, after a few beers is when I feel like they look for their prey, and it's just not that easy to tell the difference anymore, so much so that I'm starting to get skeptical of the Caucasian women as well. I'm wondering how socially acceptable it would be to start feeling for adam's apples.
On another note, renting a motorbike is a phenomenal way to explore a small island. It's also a phenomenal way to die on a Saturday afternoon. Yes I wore a helmet, but soooo many things can go wrong when all traffic laws, signals, signs seem to be mere suggestions. I can understand the allure of a motorcycle. The wind whipping your face, being outside getting tan, just you and the road...luckily I feel like I can get the same thing on a bicycle so I'll be sticking to that.
It's just about 10 days until departure time and my body has started to question what the hell I'm doing to it, and I think it's fair to say that which includes the famous Full Moon Party and Bangkok. So until next time. unless my body actually shuts down. Enjoy the 4th.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Some Pics from Abroad
Ko Phi Phi at Sunset
Monk in Luang Prabang
Maya Beach, Ko Phi Phi, Thailand.
Chillin. On a fallen tree trunk. In a waterfall. In Laos.
Angkor Wat at SunriseAbove are a few pics. I'd love to post more but as you might imagine, the connection in Ko Phi Phi isn't exactly fast. Quick story...I finally got a massage, a PG13 one, and I've been putting it off for no other reason than I'm ticklish and don't particularly care for massages. But my back was scarlet and my dogs were barking and I needed some TLC. So I'm in this room by myself getting an aloe massage and I quickly find myself flanked by several Irish girls who walk in and are now getting a massage as well. Oh, and I'm in my underoos. I'm just thinking to myself, just don't laugh. And this lady is getting all up in my joints and pressure points and I'm just trying not to laugh. She flips me around on my back and is now massaging my arms and chest with aloe and it feels pretty damn awesome. And then for whatever reason she takes the aloe and makes a mohawk with my chest hair and starts dying of laughter. So then of course I'm laughing now too because I have a 50 year old Thai woman straddling me making a mohawk with my chest hair while a bunch of Irish girls are watching a giggling as well. I felt like a million bucks afterwards though and $10 for an hour wasn't too bad either.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Great Things Happen and the Opposite Can Too
So I made it to Thailand. And in the process, for the first time in my life, went up to a counter at an airport and said, "I'd like to purchase a ticket", and was on a plane 40 minutes later. I just don't think that happens in the USA. We were saying, when, if ever, will someone go up to the counter at Delta and say "yeah, when's the next flight out to Pensacola because I'd like to buy a ticket". Oh you want to fly right away, one way, and you're going to pay with cash, and you're not checking bags? Wait a minute right here, I think there's someone who is going to want to ask you a few questions.
Laos continued to impress since my last post and our trip to the Kwang Si Waterfalls was in my opinion nothing short of amazing. Only pictures would do it justice, but being in the jungle, sitting under a waterfall in the middle of a torrential downpour, and hiking to the top of the falls isn't something you'll do on any given Sunday, or Monday or whenever it was. Yeah, we could have probably stayed for another day in Laos, but we were ready to move on.
Something I've been thinking about here as we move from city to city and trek to trek, is everything that can go right, and conversely everything that can go wrong. Henri Mouhot was a Frenchman, and an explorer, and is credited with the rediscovery of Angkor Wat. Mouhot was based in Bangkok in the late 1850s and his schtick was making treks into the jungles of northern Thailand, Cambodia, and Laos. Apparently Mouhot had a hunch that there was something "big" in Cambodia. Some lost city or something. So he set out into the jungle with a couple elephants, a bunch of ramen noodles, and flashlight, and found Angkor Wat. Not too shabby. I imagine he got back to his base in Bangkok and was like "Ok, guys, I'm like pretty sure I found something and I'm pretty sure you're going to want to come with me and check it out". His rediscovery of Angkor Wat...a great thing that happened. The prevalence of lady-boys in Thailand...the opposite of a great thing. Everybody come play the Lady-Boy game with me. It goes like this. Walk down the street and try to pick 'em. Lady...lady...boy...lady...boy...boy. Truly scary stuff. When I left my room to get breakfast this morning I saw all of these old white dudes with Thai women eating breakfast. Either these guys met these Thai women years ago and the Matzah Ball and courted them like normal folks, or they met them last night, paid for their company and are now doing some community service in the way of supporting their favorite charity "Buy a Pro Some Pancakes". It's sooo shady and of all those guys looking for love in all the wrong places, I have to imagine that one of them got fooled last night. And this brings me to another issue that we've been talking about over here for a few days, which is who the hell are these dudes?
At what point do you decide to live in Thailand (or Phenom Penh or where ever), telling the rest of the world to kiss it, while you basically decide to live the rest of your life trying to have sex with locals but not pay for it but that's what it is. At what point do you make that your life. Is it when you are divorced, and your kids want nothing to do with you, and your job at the factory is as painful as ever, and you just can't deal anymore. I need to know what the tipping point is for these gentlemen, because there are so many of them over here it's shocking. Or maybe it shouldn't be shocking and I'm just naive. Probably a combination of both. If anyone has insight let me know. I'm off to dinner.
Laos continued to impress since my last post and our trip to the Kwang Si Waterfalls was in my opinion nothing short of amazing. Only pictures would do it justice, but being in the jungle, sitting under a waterfall in the middle of a torrential downpour, and hiking to the top of the falls isn't something you'll do on any given Sunday, or Monday or whenever it was. Yeah, we could have probably stayed for another day in Laos, but we were ready to move on.
Something I've been thinking about here as we move from city to city and trek to trek, is everything that can go right, and conversely everything that can go wrong. Henri Mouhot was a Frenchman, and an explorer, and is credited with the rediscovery of Angkor Wat. Mouhot was based in Bangkok in the late 1850s and his schtick was making treks into the jungles of northern Thailand, Cambodia, and Laos. Apparently Mouhot had a hunch that there was something "big" in Cambodia. Some lost city or something. So he set out into the jungle with a couple elephants, a bunch of ramen noodles, and flashlight, and found Angkor Wat. Not too shabby. I imagine he got back to his base in Bangkok and was like "Ok, guys, I'm like pretty sure I found something and I'm pretty sure you're going to want to come with me and check it out". His rediscovery of Angkor Wat...a great thing that happened. The prevalence of lady-boys in Thailand...the opposite of a great thing. Everybody come play the Lady-Boy game with me. It goes like this. Walk down the street and try to pick 'em. Lady...lady...boy...lady...boy...boy. Truly scary stuff. When I left my room to get breakfast this morning I saw all of these old white dudes with Thai women eating breakfast. Either these guys met these Thai women years ago and the Matzah Ball and courted them like normal folks, or they met them last night, paid for their company and are now doing some community service in the way of supporting their favorite charity "Buy a Pro Some Pancakes". It's sooo shady and of all those guys looking for love in all the wrong places, I have to imagine that one of them got fooled last night. And this brings me to another issue that we've been talking about over here for a few days, which is who the hell are these dudes?
At what point do you decide to live in Thailand (or Phenom Penh or where ever), telling the rest of the world to kiss it, while you basically decide to live the rest of your life trying to have sex with locals but not pay for it but that's what it is. At what point do you make that your life. Is it when you are divorced, and your kids want nothing to do with you, and your job at the factory is as painful as ever, and you just can't deal anymore. I need to know what the tipping point is for these gentlemen, because there are so many of them over here it's shocking. Or maybe it shouldn't be shocking and I'm just naive. Probably a combination of both. If anyone has insight let me know. I'm off to dinner.
Monday, June 22, 2009
The Long Arm of the Lao
I'm here in Luang Prabang, Laos and this spot seems worlds away from any other city or town we've been to. It's expensive to get here relative to the other flights we've taken, but it's certainly worth it and the folks who are here just seem like different travelers, like "children of the earth" travelers. More tatoos, more dreds, more earthy clothes, fewer teeth. You know what I mean. Anyway, I kind of got a feeling this place might be different when after we arrived we sat at a cafe which had cloth napkins, served us water in wine glasses, and had Sinatra playing in the background. After a watermelon shake the size of 40oz and a delicious chicken with lime I just took a deep breath and realized that this is in fact not same same, but different. And I don't just mean because they serve chicken with lime. But the food, oh the food. It's been heavenly. It's so lush here and you have to believe that those little adorable Lao raindrops get all up in those fruits and veggies so when those fruits and veggies get cut open and served it must be the way Mr. Buddha intended it to be. Last night we decided to try water buffalo sausage and while it was not kosher, it was most definitely awesome. And while I'm thinking about kosher, I was walking on the street the first day and we walked by these four girls who looked like they could be members of the tribe. Turns out they are staying in the room next to us and just graduated from Penn. Moral of the story, never travel to Laos without your Longchamps bag. Ever.
The French influence here is very evident. Even the little street urchins have a little je ne sais quoi. And there are the dogs, which are not mangy like in Cambodia and Vietnam, but almost regal. Whenever I see one of these regal beagles walking by I say "what's up Lunch" because let's not get it twisted here...those dogs could end up on a dinner plate as fast as you can say "sabaidee", which means "hello" in Lao. The pace is slower, the meals are longer, cafes are more prevalent, people less likely to rip you off, and it's just quiet, oh, and smoke free according to UNESCO.
I just got back from a day river kayaking on the Nam Ou River which was something straight out of a brochure or the Discovery Channel. We stopped for lunch on a riverbank inhabited by some local Khmou children. The Khmou are one of the ethnic minorities here. The guides flipped over a few kayaks, went into the jungle and got some banana leaves and then laid out meats and veggies with on the leaves and gave each one of us a handful of sticky rice to use as a spoon of sorts to mop up the food and shovel it into our faces. Amazing views and a solid day all around.
I now understand why people call Laos the "itinerary buster" of SE Asia. There's just so much to do in the way of treks if you choose and even if you don't want to channel your inner Bear Grylls all the time there are plenty of activities, and a lot involve the water which is always a plus in my book. The only negative is that there's a curfew here and most places shut down by 11pm or midnight, but then, and I swear to you, the one spot that is the go-to for after hours is Bao Ling, a bastardized spelling of our beloved American Bowling. They have six lanes and a crazy bar that goes until you decide to stop. Bowling...in Laos...come on, really? Yes really.
Here for a few more days then off to Thailand. Likely no more blogs until then. Happy Father's Day out there to all the Baby Daddies.
The French influence here is very evident. Even the little street urchins have a little je ne sais quoi. And there are the dogs, which are not mangy like in Cambodia and Vietnam, but almost regal. Whenever I see one of these regal beagles walking by I say "what's up Lunch" because let's not get it twisted here...those dogs could end up on a dinner plate as fast as you can say "sabaidee", which means "hello" in Lao. The pace is slower, the meals are longer, cafes are more prevalent, people less likely to rip you off, and it's just quiet, oh, and smoke free according to UNESCO.
I just got back from a day river kayaking on the Nam Ou River which was something straight out of a brochure or the Discovery Channel. We stopped for lunch on a riverbank inhabited by some local Khmou children. The Khmou are one of the ethnic minorities here. The guides flipped over a few kayaks, went into the jungle and got some banana leaves and then laid out meats and veggies with on the leaves and gave each one of us a handful of sticky rice to use as a spoon of sorts to mop up the food and shovel it into our faces. Amazing views and a solid day all around.
I now understand why people call Laos the "itinerary buster" of SE Asia. There's just so much to do in the way of treks if you choose and even if you don't want to channel your inner Bear Grylls all the time there are plenty of activities, and a lot involve the water which is always a plus in my book. The only negative is that there's a curfew here and most places shut down by 11pm or midnight, but then, and I swear to you, the one spot that is the go-to for after hours is Bao Ling, a bastardized spelling of our beloved American Bowling. They have six lanes and a crazy bar that goes until you decide to stop. Bowling...in Laos...come on, really? Yes really.
Here for a few more days then off to Thailand. Likely no more blogs until then. Happy Father's Day out there to all the Baby Daddies.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Same Same, But Different
Same Same, But Different is what EVERY merchant, bartender, and waitress says, all the time. Sometimes it is completely out of context, but sometimes it makes sense. If you are walking down in the night market and there are a couple hundred food stalls you are going to get all these stall owners coming up to you shoving menus in your face. The menus are basically exactly the same, so why their stall versus another stall? No reason. So I guess all they can really say is Same Same, but Different.
There are also street urchins who are as cute as a button and even at the age of 6 and 7 they can yuk it up with Americans. We surmise that if you put a Cambodian and an American 6 year old in the same room the Cambodia would run circles around the American in terms of sociability. But these urchins aren't rapping with us just to rap with us. They want dollar dollar bills. So this is how it goes.
Urchin: You buy my book. One Dollar.
Me: No thank you.
Urch: Whyyyy you no buy my book. One dollar.
Me: No, I'm not buying anything.
Urch: You no buy. Cost you three dollar to no buy.
Me: No.
Urch: You buy for your girlfriend.
Me: I don't have a girlfriend.
Urch: You know why you no have a girlfriend?
Me: No?
Urch: Because you no buy her my book.
It's also interesting because they all have the same tone and cadence when they speak to us. I guess that's just passed down from generation to generation. They'll try to pull all kinds of facts out hoping you will buy. ''Obama is President" "Joe Biden is Vice President", "You buy my book if I tell you capital of Burkina Faso?". It's kind of funny at first, less funny at 10am when it's hot and you are hung over, and exponentially less funny at around 4pm when you've sweat through every single article of clothing and you've had this conversation one hundred times already. At this point when I get hassled and they say where are you from my answer is ''I'm from Burkina Faso and I don't have a girlfriend because I don't buy your books" and they laugh because we know their game, and they know we know, and it's cute and funny.
Lastly before I sign out I just want to briefly mention the tuk-tuk drivers. The tuk tuks are motorbikes that have a little carriage hitched to the back. There are a million of these guys and they are yearning for business but almost always there is no reason to use them because everything is so close. We paid a tuk tuk driver to let us drive ourselves home in a tuk tuk last night which was actually quite amusing. But anyway, our standard response to "Sir, tuk tuk?" has been "No, walk walk", which inevitably leads to the follow up question, "You want massage boom boom". I'm very ticklish, so I'm not even so keen on massages, although I will get one at some point because they are brutally inexpensive, but I'm not trying to have some random Cambodian boom boom. If by "massage boom boom" they meant a massage followed up by an ice cream sundae, then yeah, let's talk about that, but sadly they are talking about strange Cambodian boom boom with chicks that may or may not be lady-boys. I don't know what their success rate is with this, but I imagine it's pretty low. What I did pay $3 for, surprisingly, was to put my feet in a little tub and have these mini-pirhanas nibble at my feet for 15 minutes. They were actually garra rufa fish and they did a phenomenal job of making my feet smooth and silky again. It tickled and it was weird and a little creepy and definitely gross, and suffice to say I'm not doing that again.
Heading to Laos in a few hours which I hope is in no way Same Same but Different than Cambodia.
There are also street urchins who are as cute as a button and even at the age of 6 and 7 they can yuk it up with Americans. We surmise that if you put a Cambodian and an American 6 year old in the same room the Cambodia would run circles around the American in terms of sociability. But these urchins aren't rapping with us just to rap with us. They want dollar dollar bills. So this is how it goes.
Urchin: You buy my book. One Dollar.
Me: No thank you.
Urch: Whyyyy you no buy my book. One dollar.
Me: No, I'm not buying anything.
Urch: You no buy. Cost you three dollar to no buy.
Me: No.
Urch: You buy for your girlfriend.
Me: I don't have a girlfriend.
Urch: You know why you no have a girlfriend?
Me: No?
Urch: Because you no buy her my book.
It's also interesting because they all have the same tone and cadence when they speak to us. I guess that's just passed down from generation to generation. They'll try to pull all kinds of facts out hoping you will buy. ''Obama is President" "Joe Biden is Vice President", "You buy my book if I tell you capital of Burkina Faso?". It's kind of funny at first, less funny at 10am when it's hot and you are hung over, and exponentially less funny at around 4pm when you've sweat through every single article of clothing and you've had this conversation one hundred times already. At this point when I get hassled and they say where are you from my answer is ''I'm from Burkina Faso and I don't have a girlfriend because I don't buy your books" and they laugh because we know their game, and they know we know, and it's cute and funny.
Lastly before I sign out I just want to briefly mention the tuk-tuk drivers. The tuk tuks are motorbikes that have a little carriage hitched to the back. There are a million of these guys and they are yearning for business but almost always there is no reason to use them because everything is so close. We paid a tuk tuk driver to let us drive ourselves home in a tuk tuk last night which was actually quite amusing. But anyway, our standard response to "Sir, tuk tuk?" has been "No, walk walk", which inevitably leads to the follow up question, "You want massage boom boom". I'm very ticklish, so I'm not even so keen on massages, although I will get one at some point because they are brutally inexpensive, but I'm not trying to have some random Cambodian boom boom. If by "massage boom boom" they meant a massage followed up by an ice cream sundae, then yeah, let's talk about that, but sadly they are talking about strange Cambodian boom boom with chicks that may or may not be lady-boys. I don't know what their success rate is with this, but I imagine it's pretty low. What I did pay $3 for, surprisingly, was to put my feet in a little tub and have these mini-pirhanas nibble at my feet for 15 minutes. They were actually garra rufa fish and they did a phenomenal job of making my feet smooth and silky again. It tickled and it was weird and a little creepy and definitely gross, and suffice to say I'm not doing that again.
Heading to Laos in a few hours which I hope is in no way Same Same but Different than Cambodia.
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