Yes dairy, not diary. I got some dairy related issues right now. I'm a little sick and I can't smell my milk, so I don't know if it's bad or not. I know that religious Jews who strictly observe the sabbath have non-Jews turn on the lights and other appliances for them because it's illegal to turn on anything on the sabbath if you're observant like that. Well if there's someone who goes around turning on lights for those who can't turn on lights shouldn't there be someone to go around smelling milk f0r those who can't smell their milk?
Rebecca Romijn-NotStamos, please smell my milk.
If my mammary serves me correctly it's been a week since I've bought milk, but breast assured, as soon as I'm feeling better I'm going to go out and buy at least two jugs. I mean, I'm a growing boy here and I need my vitamin D. Ah, but there are many ways to get your dairy and your vitamin D. After all there's cheese.
Yes, there is cheese, but there's also the African American man behind the deli counter at Kroger who I think thinks I'm racist. This guy seems to be a really nice guy, but I swear to you he is trying to make me out to be racist or something. For example, when I go up to the counter I'll order Boar's Head Black Forest Ham, because a) Boar's Head is the best, and b) I like their black forest ham. Simple enough. So the guy will go to the back of the deli station and he'll yell to me "what kind of ham do you want!?", and I yell to him "Black forest ham, please!", and he'll say, "what forest ham?" and I'll say "black forest ham", and he'll say "Cracked forest ham!?", and I'll say "no. black. forest. ham". And then he'll kind of give me this look like, "oh now you going yell black all loud and stuff in the middle of a supermarket, you cracker ass cracker mayonnaise-and-white-bread-eatin' motherfucka". I mean, what am I supposed to do, I want my Boar's Head Black Forest Ham. So when he's done he'll come up and give me my ham and ask me if that's all, and that's never all. I usually want some cheese too and I like cheddar so of course this guy, trying to pin me into corner, leans in and says all softly, "white cheddar or yellow cheddar?". I mean, it's like he's asking me "Confederacy cheddar, or Union cheddar?", and he says it with a look that says, "go ahead honky, order the white cheddar, go ahead and order your supremacist cheddar you close-minded no-rhythm bitch". So of course I always go with the yellow cheddar because I don't want to be a racist cheese-orderer. I really don't know what to do, but every week I just keep coming back for more. I think the safe bet is going with roast beef and the colby jack next time.
Apropos of nothing, Halloween is on the horizon, and we all know what this means...invasion of the "sexy bumblebees!!"
Sexy Bumblebees...usually a bunch of tricks.
If I can't muster up a story for you about Halloween then I'm turning in my pen, or modem, or computer, or whatever.
Yes, there is cheese, but there's also the African American man behind the deli counter at Kroger who I think thinks I'm racist. This guy seems to be a really nice guy, but I swear to you he is trying to make me out to be racist or something. For example, when I go up to the counter I'll order Boar's Head Black Forest Ham, because a) Boar's Head is the best, and b) I like their black forest ham. Simple enough. So the guy will go to the back of the deli station and he'll yell to me "what kind of ham do you want!?", and I yell to him "Black forest ham, please!", and he'll say, "what forest ham?" and I'll say "black forest ham", and he'll say "Cracked forest ham!?", and I'll say "no. black. forest. ham". And then he'll kind of give me this look like, "oh now you going yell black all loud and stuff in the middle of a supermarket, you cracker ass cracker mayonnaise-and-white-bread-eatin' motherfucka". I mean, what am I supposed to do, I want my Boar's Head Black Forest Ham. So when he's done he'll come up and give me my ham and ask me if that's all, and that's never all. I usually want some cheese too and I like cheddar so of course this guy, trying to pin me into corner, leans in and says all softly, "white cheddar or yellow cheddar?". I mean, it's like he's asking me "Confederacy cheddar, or Union cheddar?", and he says it with a look that says, "go ahead honky, order the white cheddar, go ahead and order your supremacist cheddar you close-minded no-rhythm bitch". So of course I always go with the yellow cheddar because I don't want to be a racist cheese-orderer. I really don't know what to do, but every week I just keep coming back for more. I think the safe bet is going with roast beef and the colby jack next time.
Apropos of nothing, Halloween is on the horizon, and we all know what this means...invasion of the "sexy bumblebees!!"
Sexy Bumblebees...usually a bunch of tricks.
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