Yes Country for Old Men

Where else can you stand next to Donald Trump as he dips a marshmallow into a chocolate fountain at 1pm, and then brush shoulders with Robert Kraft at dinner the night before the Patriots run the table and go 16-0. There are probably a few places this can happen, but one of these places is Palm Beach. In "No Country for Old Men" Tommy Lee Jones felt like he didn't have enough strength to hack it as a sheriff anymore. Well, maybe Mr. Jones, or Mr. Lee Jones, or whatever, should buy a ticket on Jet Blue and come on down to Palm Beach. He could have one of those cushy security jobs at any one of the 40,000 gated complexes/communities down here. My family jokes that when you drive up to one of these complexes/communities you can say "Hi, I'm here to rob the SoandSos", give a little mock salute and a big smile, and 9.9 times out of 10 you'll be let in. I'm pretty sure Tommy Lee Jones could handle that.

"Look at me. I'm the Sheriff of the exclusive Del Boca Vista community"

Why else is Palm Beach great for older men...well, a few nights ago I saw this older gentleman on what looked like a date (of sorts) with a younger woman. The woman was probably in her sixties and was definitely the den mother of the Palm Beach Cougar Den. Anyway, from the body language you could tell dinner wasn't going particularly well. It didn't seem like either of them wanted to be there. But luckily for both of them there was no need to force awkward conversation, and the reason was because the woman had so much collagen in her lips that she needed to use the chicken on the end of her fork in order to jimmy her lips open so she could actually put food in her mouth.

EQUALS



And maybe that was cute when you were 2 years old. But on a sixty year old woman, eh, not so much. Why else is Palm Beach a country for old men...you can wear anything and you nobody will bat an eye. I went to the Polo store on Worth Avenue to find a pair of khakis, and shockingly, or maybe not so shockingly, they didn't have what I call "pants for real people". If you want a pair of red corduroys to go with your lime green linen sport coat and orange loafers, the Palm Beach is the place for you. My point is that Polo can only get away with selling that stuff in Palm Beach and maybe a few other places. You can wear just about any color combination down here and you're safe. If anyone questions you all you have to say is "well Morty, I guess you haven't seen what's new at the Polo store yet", and then just walk off with your paisley chinos, white boat shoes, and red blazer and get some more caviar.

There are a million other reasons why Palm Beach is Yes Country for Old Men. It also has been Yes Country for Young Men like myself. The past week and a half has been a great break from Ann Arbor. I'm starting to wonder whether I should have applied to Palm Beach Community College's MBA program instead. So maybe the major Wall Street firms wouldn't recruit at ol' PBCC, but can you put a price on being able to blog outside in a bathing suit? I'm pretty sure you can't. I feel like I could write some more, but I've got an inny and I'm gathering sweat in my bellybutton which means it's time to shut it down for now.

The next blog will surely be in 2008. Happy New Year.