That Shit Looks like a Snake...oh it is a snake?

All right. We've known each other for a few months now at the very minimum so I can be honest with you, right? Right. When I first got to school I had some run of the mill medical issues that were more a pain in the ass than anything else. What were they exactly...not relevant. But what is relevant is that I'm not feeling any love from my insurance company, and I think there needs to be some revisions as what counts towards a deductible and what doesn't. Doctors, I'm sorry you all need to deal with this regularly. I can't imagine how frustrating it is to deal with insurance companies. So anyway, I go see the doctor, he assess the situation, he has me get my blood tested for a fiber allergy (what?), and then I go back into room. He says, "You need to eat more fiber". Forty-five minutes in the waiting room and that was his answer. And then he says, "Have you ever heard of the Bristol Scale before". Bristol Scale? I'm thinking maybe this has something to do with ESPN or NASCAR. Um, no, not quite. The Bristol Scale is this...


The doctor points to Type 4 and says "We need more snakes". Come on Doc, what's next, are you going to pull out "Everyone Poops" and read it to me? When I left I remember calling home and saying that I just paid $15 (my co-pay) for the doctor to tell me I needed "more snakes". Kind of a waste of money and definitely a waste of time. Since then I hadn't thought about that trip to the doctor. Two days ago I get an invoice in the mail from those bastards at Aetna saying that of the $244 it cost for the doctor to tell me "more snakes", only $144 of it was covered. Basically they were telling me that I need to pay $100 out of my own pocket before they start covering me in full. As if being asked to pay $15 for "more snakes" wasn't bad enough, now you're telling me I need to shell out another $100 for "more snakes". Are you serious? For $100 I want the doctor to reach in the drawer, grab a lute, and charm one of these brown snakes out of a wicker magazine basket. For $100 I want a cute med student to give me the ol' turn-your-head-and-cough. At least give me my money's worth. I don't know folks, I kind of feel like I'm being cheated here. In Ann Arbor $100 can last you 3 weekends out at the bars. I'm going to pay the $100, obviously, but it's going to take a lot of will power to not send in my check with a Type 3 crackly sausage.