Ashley York Vol 7: A Tangled Web

Before I go any further I want to back up a quick second. In case the connection wasn't clear last episode when Troy's response to my mentioning Krista Marks was "Ashley York", the reason was because to lure his friend Cole, Krista had used herself as the springboard once again. Apparently she had played the "we've met before in (insert vague place/time here)" . It worked on me, and it had worked on Cole, and it started to dawn on me that Krista and Ashley (or were they the same person?) had worked on many many other people between 2003, when Cole "met" Ashley, and when I "met" Ashley five years later. Five years, same sick shtick...and all I can think of as I write this now, two years removed is The House of Vanger. But I digress...

Team Krashley went into overdrive. We were too resourceful to not figure this out. Plus now we had Troy. When Troy and Cole had traveled to Europe after college, at one point Troy got on the phone with Ashley after Cole had called her. I said to Troy, "doesn't she have the cutest British accent?". Troy's response, "what are you talking about, she's not British". He said, "Finger, I'm telling you man, she absolutely does not have a British accent". I was floored, once again. Who was this girl? What kind of crazy ass games was she playing? And then Troy decided that he himself had to hear Ashley speak. He had to hear her voice. It became his obsession.

I had other things to worry about though, like checking behind me as I walked into my apartment. I was legitimately spooked at this point, but I felt confident I was going to be able to explain everything. I couldn't let go of Ashley, not emotionally of course, but in terms of communications. It was vital to Team Krashley that I not fall off Ashley's radar. Krista on the other hand, well, she was a bit of a "facebook slut". I could get her attention any time I wanted. In fact, she wouldn't leave me the hell alone.

Here's a back and forth with Krista to illustrate. We had a conversation which she started, entitled "you alive?".

Krista Marks July 14 2008 3:59pm

Guess Not

John Finger July 14 2008 10:10pm

Yeah, I'm alive. Are you?

Krista Marks July 14 10:19pm

I AM - WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH U AN ASH???? WHY ARE THINGS WEIRD!!!!?!!???

John Finger July 14 2008 10:19pm

nothing is weird. What do you mean?

Krista Marks July 14 2008 10:26pm

NOT WHAT I HEAR

Weird is an understatement to describe what was going on, but I felt like if I just played it like I was still thinking about Ashley and that things were normal, maybe I could extract some kind of information from Krista. What was clearly obvious was that Krista and Ashley were in cahoots. I can clearly remember having a bonfire the following weekend in East Hampton and once again telling the story. New details had emerged and I'm not going to lie, I feel like I did a pretty bang up job of telling it. After I was done telling the story a friend from college pulled me aside and he said, "I know a guy who can find her. He can find anyone". So I responded, "great, put me in touch". And he said, "no, you don't understand, he can find anyone, but it's not cheap". I was thinking, how much would I spend to have this solved. He said "Two thousand bucks and I promise you, he'll find her". Well, I think I'd just take my chances with Team Krashley thank you very much.

That Monday Troy said he was going to contact Jared Morganstern, some big mucky muck over at Facebook and an old friend from Long Island. We were going right to the top here. But after a few emails and no response that conversation never materialized. Troy, let me tell you, he was adamant about talking to Ashley. He used to make me practice dialing him into calls from his cell phone and utilizing the calling from a "Private Number" function. His philosophy, "practice makes perfect", so occasionally we'd do our thing, dialing in to each others phones from private lines and such. It's not hard, but it's nothing I've ever done and I'm not the most tech savvy person of all time either. Troy also began putting out the feelers to his friends. He contacted his friend Ryan, from growing up, who also happened to have gone to Penn, and who also happened to be friends with Krista Marks. Troy had asked Ryan who Krista Marks was and Ryan's response "I don't know. She looked hot and she friended me, so I accepted". He had never met her and had never seen her, although he did say that last year Krista had contacted him insisting that he'd met her in the Hamptons. Ryan ignored her. This Krista was surely persistent. Ryan asked Troy what the deal was. Why was he asking all these random questions, so Troy gave him my story, and when Troy was done Ryan remarked that something about the name Ashley York was eerily familiar. He thought that he had recently met her. Ryan was going to think about it and get back to Troy.

Troy relayed this to me and of course I was pretty excited. Finally, a sighting. Ashley did exist. Not only did she exist but there had been a sighting, and a recent one at that. Ryan called Troy the next day. He hadn't met Ashley, but his friend Eric, a tennis player from Penn, was currently talking to her on Facebook and the phone and was supposed to go out with her. Ashley York = Black Widow Spider. Good God this girl works fast. All I could think of was how many balls was she juggling at once. How many guys were in her web. Troy Ryan Eric and I got on an email chain. I explained to Eric that he wasn't going to be meeting Ashley anytime soon and told him a watered down version of my story. He concurred that the whole thing was weird, starting with the initial note he received from Krista Marks all the way to the first time that Ashley flaked on him for drinks. My advice, stay away.

But the group dialogue proved to be a great way to disseminate and share information. We added Troy's friend Mark to it, who knew Cole. Mark knew of another guy who was friends with Krista Marks and that guy knew another one. Soon, a back and forth between me and Troy had turned into a real listserve. There were ten or so guys within a few days. It was an interesting cast of characters. Most were from the tri-state area, had gone to school at either on the Northeast or at one of the Big Ten schools, and many were Jewish. Ashley York's facebook profile showed that she had many friends and they posted on her wall. Stuff like, "hey, let me know when you're in the DC area". It seemed legitimate to me but I knew better. But back to the listserve...I mean, some of these guys really believed she existed. One guy said something like "I go to all the clubs and believe me, I would've remembered her if I saw her, and I'm hoping I'll find her one day". I chimed in, "nobody is ever going to meet her. She's not real". I'd had enough of the listserve after a few days. It wasn't helpful. Too much testosterone. I needed to focus.

Team Krashley recommended I do a reverse lookup on Ashley's phone number. I paid the requisite $20 and waited for a response. Finally I got it. The name that came back "Kim Daniel". Kim Daniel. Who the hell is Kim Daniel we all wondered and we all set out to find Kim Daniel. We poured through the directories and facebook and asked friends. Nothing. Well, something, but nothing substantial. We did know that the phone was purchased at a CellCo in Hackensack, NJ. But what did that do for us. There were a few Kim Daniels in northern New Jersey, but nothing that seemed to make sense as the women we looked up were all in their 40s and older. It was possible. We were hitting dead ends left and right. Looking back though, I wish we'd pursued that Kim Daniels lead a little harder, but things were about to take another bizarre turn.

Troy and I were on the phone one night. He had called me a few times from "private number" just to see if it worked, which it had. We chatted about new developments and stewed over our inability to make progress given the lead with Ryan's friend Eric and with Kim Daniel. We were letting this slip, and there was no reason for it. Well, maybe there was kind of, since, you know, I was trying to finish up a summer internship and get a job at my firm and you know, make something of myself and what have you. But Ashley York. Krista Marks. Ashley York. Krista Marks....

Krista Marks!

Krista was back on facebook messenger and she was messenging me some nonsense about me messing things up. At the same time I'm on the phone talking to Troy telling him that Krista just won't give up. Troy suggested that we get her on the phone, even if he just sat silent, he wanted to hear Krista explain herself.

Krista was blabbering away, and I was humoring her with, "I'm not sure", "I don't know", "something feels wrong", etc etc. She was buying it hook line and sinker. Meanwhile, Troy is pleading with me, "Finger, get her on the phone, just ask her to call you". So I write to Krista, "Krista, enough of this facebook bullshit. What's your number?" I tell Troy I'm going to call her and for him to hang up. We hang up. Krista says, "no, I'll call you what's your number". So I give it to her. Troy's on facebook messaging me now, "Finger, call me into the conversation right now. Before you call her". Troy's being persistent. So persistent that he can't wait. I get a call from "private number" again. I'm looking at it. Why can't Troy hold his horses for five seconds...

But let me take one second to tell you about Troy. And I might've told you this before, but Troy has a very distinct voice. He sounds kind of hoarse, and has since he was 9 years old. Deep voice, kind of scratchy, and very distinct.

It reads "private number" on my phone. Damnit Troy. I hit the answer button.

"Jesus, you are so impatient. Can't you wait like five seconds"

"Hello", said the voice on the other side.

"Troy, yeah, hi. Hold on a second"

"Who's Troy?"

Wait a second. What the fuck is going on here. I know this voice. But I don't know this voice. It sounds like Troy, but it doesn't. I start in again.

"Who is this?", I say.

"It's Krista".

And that 's' hissssssed like the day is long. I don't know how to describe this voice but it was somewhere between James Earl Jones and Richard Simmons, with a heavy slant on the Richard Simmons side of things. This cannot be for real.

"Hey Krista", I say, incredulously.

"So, what's the deal", Krista says, like she's talking to a close friend.

The word "deal", I don't know how, but Krista made it have 19 syllables.

"No deal. I'm just very confused right now", I said, barely managing to keep my composure.

"Do you like Ashley or not!?", Krista practically barked at me.

At the same time I'm facebook messaging with Troy. I tell him I'm speaking to Krista and Krista is a MAN.

You can imagine what was going through my head right now. Actually you probably can't. I know Ashley York was a girl, that I reminded myself was a fact. I'd spoken to Ashley, as you know, many times. But "Krista", did he/she really think he/she could get away with calling me and sounding like a man. Like a grown ass man. It was a man. It didn't sound like a man. It was. A. Fucking. MAN! All I could think of was "Ray Finkle is Lois Einhorn".

I don't even think the rest of my conversation with "Krista" was even coherent. I don't know what I said, but I feel like Krista just pressed me to stay involved and be a "man" (how ironic) and call Ashley. The same garbage she had been feeding me over facebook, but now, you know, just in the voice of an incredibly effeminate MAN. I hung up and just dropped my phone immediately, like it was a piece of kryptonite. I knew I needed to call Troy back, but I also needed a minute to digest.

My head spun. I had some calls to make. How does this story keep getting more twisted, I thought to myself. If only this was the last twist...