John and Tweet Plus 8

So if you came to this blog with aspirations of commentary on Judge Sonia Sotomayor I'm afraid you may be a little disappointed. But I will say that a Supreme Court justice from the BX is all right by me. There are nine Supreme Court justices, which is a lot, but they deal with all kinds of complex issues and make landmark decisions, so I can see that nine makes sense. According to Wikipedia the number of justices fluctuated in the 1800s, but in 1869 the number was set at nine via the Judiciary Act of 1869, obviously. But nine is a lot. So is eight, but you can't have eight justices because of the whole even number thing and I guess seven seemed too few. But my point is this: Eight is a lot. You ever eat eight slices of pizza in one sitting? Too much. An eight game NBA series? Makes no sense. Eight hours straight of watching TV? Sucks the life right out of you. Eight cups of coffee? Not healthy. So my question is why are people even remotely surprised that Jon and Kate of Jon and Kate Plus EIGHT are failing miserably. I watched this show twice, ever, and I don't know what season it was, but things are not right in that household. And now you can't turn anywhere without hearing someone talking about them or the show or whatever. I saw a clip of the season premiere on Entertainment Tonight, and I'm not a psychologist or a therapist, but when the husband of your EIGHT children shows up to his sextuplets fifth birthday alone, an hour late, in a white sports car, with dark shades on, and looks like he'd rather be getting a root canal, I'm guessing that doesn't bode well for the relationship. I'm sure all eight of the kids are adorable and great, but taking care of eight little ones with a camera crew all up in your business every day is a recipe for disaster. I'm sitting on the couch watching the Cavs/Magic game right now. I'd venture to say that Jon is dealing with some sort of disaster right now with cameras about five inches from his face and all that man wants to do is sit on his couch, in peace, with a cheap domestic beer, and an expensive foreign hooker, and watch the Cavs/Magic game. Okay enough of JK+8 as the kids call it. But the abbreviation of JK+8 leads me to my next point.

Facebook's newest valuation came in at $10bn. Billion. This number fluctuates of course, but based on the latest investment from Sky Media we are going with $10bn. And you're telling me the Twitter guys can't find a way to monetize what they have. I wouldn't sleep a wink if I knew that I was leaving that kind of crazy money on the table. I'm not sure how much staying power Twitter has though. I think it's kind of annoying. I don't 'tweet' because I don't have the stamina to continually post, and clearly I can't keep it under 140 characters. Also, do people actually care what I'm doing all day long? Probably not. Actually, hopefully not. I don't follow any Twitter page but here is what I'm imagining some great tweets would say, and feel free to post some of your own creations below. Creativity is encouraged and of course abide by the under 140 characters rule...

OMG!! Mizu sushi is amaaaze!! Luv the dragon roll!! Baygs baygs baygs.

Bob Sheppard is the man. Now batting, #2, Derek, Jet-ah.

Godfather marathon on AMC. Pretending Godfather3 never existed. Andy Garcia is not Italian.

Anyone know where to get bahn mi on the LES? Hollah at a brother.

Bahn Mi? No, bahn you.

Clearly the possibilities are endless, but I only really think about this because I'm not trying to take my sweet ass time blogging while I'm in Asia, because after all, there are freshwater crabs that are just waiting to be eaten. I think my posts will turn into some sort of cross between a blog post and a tweet, but just due to timing, and I promise I will never use "OMG" or exclamation points. I really don't believe in exclamation points. Or do I! I don't.

Next stop for me is East Hampton which often provides me with fabulous blog material. If nothing else I just hope it'll provide me with some good weather. I'll leave you with a possible Hamptons tweet...

"$60/lb Lobster salad. Are you kidding me? There better be flakes of gold mixed in there"