This is what happens at the end of college. You show up at a party at a friend's spot. A house you've been to many many times to eat, drink, and hang out. But all of a sudden, with 5 weeks left of school you show up to that same house to drink those same beers and to grill on that same grill and you, Don't, Know, Anyone.
What the hell is going on? What's going on is people are saying to themselves, "dang it, I haven't gone out at all in 2 years and now I need to make up for lost time so I'm going to show up at as many parties and take as many pictures for my facebook profile as possible before this school thing is over". What can you do? Nothing actually. I've actually met some new people these past weeks, which is always nice. But when they say "how come I've never seen you out?" I just don't know how to respond. I just smile and say "I don't know".
I do know that I went to a sorority formal this past week and yeah, I was probably the oldest dude in the room. I had this weird dream where I'd get there and they'd check my ID and be like, "sorry sir, you are too old for this club" kind of like this clip from Knocked Up which is seriously one of my favorites. Man I do love this clip, which is not safe for work by the way...
"I can't let you in because you old as fuck...for this club...not you know, for the earth". Anyway, I had this other dream (lots of dreaming these days) where they'd be like sorry sir, you aren't 27, you are older, much older and then they'd rip my shirt off and I'd have one of those polio vaccine scars on my shoulder, and I'd be like "no, but I never had a polio vaccine!", and then I woke up and had to go to the bathroom. But that didn't happen and I had a lot of fun. I think the "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore" moment occurred when I rolled into the pre-game with a bottle of wine, and everyone was congregated in the kitchen pounding shots of vodka and tequila. I might as well have been wearing a huge label that said "A 1981 Vintage MBA from Greenwich, CT". Good lord, can you imagine if I showed up with flowers which is how we used to sometimes do it back in my undergrad days. I'm dying a million deaths inside just thinking about how mortifying that would've been. But I wasn't embarrassed with my wine. You don't get invited to something like that and show up empty-handed. Mama, you raised yourself a mensch. Anyway, fun evening, and again, and I say this time and again, may I never have daughters.
It's going to be tough to top last week. My bowling league finished up last Wednesday, that formal was Thursday, I got in 18 holes with some friends on Friday, and was back out at the bars on Saturday, and today I ate a triple chili cheeseburger with onion rings and passed out on my couch and then watched the games all day. If loving the MBA life is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
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