A Shuffle. A Chortle. A Knock.

I write this blog, and even I'm getting a little sick of reading about the working world in this space. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the workplace is fascinating, and often times for unpleasant reasons. Truth be told, several weeks ago I had consecutive midnight nights...to which the Investment Bankers out there say "boo freaking-hoo" and/or "FingerTheBlog is a candy ass"...but for me that was the first time I'd put in hours like that. On the morning of day three I was a bit on edge, a bit shell shocked perhaps. The sound of footsteps in the vicinity of my cube elicited a physiological reaction that wasn't particularly pleasant. In order to keep sane I realized I need to focus a little harder on the sounds at the office. I was going to have to learn to like be an office ornithologist of sorts.

I sit in a pretty highly trafficked area, but since paying closer attention to sounds I can sense when my manager is coming over to talk to me. I hear him walking and I know the sounds his shoes make against the carpet as they come to a halt just shy of the boundary to my cube. I'm beginning to understand what it's like to be SpiderMan. It sure is a lot of responsibility, but I can't wait until I can shoot webbing out of my hands. That'll definitely be a separate blog post. As of late there's been a bowl of candy that's been parked on the executive assistants' desk which resides right behind my cube. There's been an inordinate amount of foot traffic so basically my Spidey Sense has been tingling like whoa since Halloween and I still get those nasty mini-physiological reactions from time to time.

There's another fellow, who is from my best guess from a southern region of the midwest. I don't know for sure, nor will I ever ask, but he clears his throat in a eerily similar fashion to my manager who sits out of my earshot. For a while, the midwestern throat clearing really threw me for a loop because I thought that my manager was constantly near my cube, lurking, circling, waiting to swoop in for a kill. I jest of course. And if my manager was close at all times it's not like it would be an issue, because I'm doing anything illegal or illicit at my desk. I'm just working. I guess what it comes down to is the desire to not be snuck up on. A friend told me once that the partner at his hedge fund wears only socks all day, and has been known to sneak up on unsuspecting employees. Hopefully not on purpose. Sounds like a living nightmare to me.

I, like any mammal or otherwise, who has ever lived on this planet desires to have a maximum handle on his/her environment, and until humans evolve to develop eyes in the back of our heads (it's coming, oh yes, it's coming) we'll just have to rely on what we currently have in order to help us survive. I urge you to try it for yourself at the workplace, or even if you are just sitting at home or in the park or where ever. Not the car though. Close your eyes and just listen. I don't think we as a people listen enough. If you're at work though don't do this for too long because I've actually walked past someone who literally had their eyes closed and I don't think it was because she had read this blog. I think she had mastered sitting upright and sleeping, to which I earnestly say, "brava". Not everyone can do that.

I cannot wait for the sweet sweet sounds of Friday tomorrow. A little more laughter, a little less typing on the keypads, and hopefully the zipping of zippers and shuffling of papers around 6:30p as people pack up for the weekend. Back in the day TGIF meant Steve Urkel, but now I truly Thank God It's Friday.
Oddly enough I just bought a shirt just like that because plaid shirts just like that are very much in style these days. Upon closer look, the tortoise-shell aviator-style specs, the uptown fade, the plaid shirt...I think sans suspenders and an unbuttoning of the top button Steve Urkel would be the hippest dude in Williamsburg with that outfit on. Too bad he was fifteen years ahead of his time. Seriously, let that thought just simmer until it blows your mind. Boom.